RUSSIA

finally, i have the courage to re-activate my blog.
well~ probably i still think this is the place where i can share all my feelings.
right here,right now. i do not have much true friends and family members around.
so the only place i could pass out my message and express my feelings is through blogging!

hmmph. nothing much has changed to in my life.
well, apart from the previous post to this post has been months and yeah now i am currently in russia!
the first post i typed in russia~
well :) i just celebrated my 18th birthday with my course mates here @starlight!

well lots of sad and depressed feelings i have been through ever since i came here
those missing feelings! doubting myself and stuffs. well.
i hope when everyone is busy. and i dont get to talk to my closed ones later, through my blog u all can still keep up to date with me.

honestly, life here isn't at all. challenging!
especially the language barrier which i am facing now everyday now,
somehow just got me more stressful to excel in it!
i always tell myself i will be better in time!

my first job

Finally! I have the urge to bloggggg!!!!!!!

DAY 21/1
my first day of work
sedayu thingy TVC
working as an extra

i was seriously veryyyy happy when i am shortlisted!
and i am the only maleeeeeee
when i reached there she asked if i am interested in another event show
maybe if modelling or serving guests job
i was likeeeee WHOOOAAAAA do i look that good????
she said: except ur hair, everything else is just fineeeee!!
wahahaaa XD XD XD XD i feel like jumping up high!

BUTTTTT
it wasnt that fun at all
let me share it outtt!
when i met here,
she said she will go to USJ to meet any friend in USJ mall
well we met them and all the way
and i have a long chat with her JESS
she is such a nice person. she is willing to tell me everything about her carrier
oh yeeaaa!!!! now only i know err a SUPER famous model in malaysia SMOKEEEESSS!
i dont wanna type it out here but personally whoever wants to know u may ask me
whatever it issss. for ur information, PANTENE tvc in malaysia is the BIGGEST
and highest EXPENDITURE tvc till now

hmm well on the way to the location we got a call saying that there are a gang of malays already waiting there
well to us we might think that it's good to be punctual or earlier
but to the producer team they thought that IT'S bad cause they have to pay extra OT money
then they said the producer scolded them and gave them a bad look
and they wanted some food and they took
so they are scolded again

well me and my agent
we went there to cool down all of them
thumbs up~ i did a great job
the aunty uncles say just give this little boy some faces laaa
he has been so kind and we continue it laa

whoa when i turned i saw a super duper nice looking guy in front of me
i was like why he looks so so familiar one?!
oh well i think i know him
and he is very kind
he was like saying dont worry they will not be angry one laaa
hi i am syarif
i was like oh hi i am ivan!

and then we moved to the location laaaa
hmm only then i know he is the featured male of this TVC
no wonder la! and he has been 100 over shootings
errr watch out the upcoming lifebouy handsoap, visit malaysia, carlsberg CNY advertisement
and of course this sedayu thingy TVC
oh well i never asked much but i tell u he has the patient which a model should posess

he is kind and humbleee
whoaaaa for the first time i get to know such humble famous person

then i saw the featured FEMALE
wow another malay who has fair skinn
she is only 18!!!my goddd and she is studying in raeffles for multimedia design
she can speak super super good english
and of course she is pretty!
both of them have perfect SKIN without applying any foundation!

well a lot of problems hanging in between the camera spoilt
and whatever it is our shooting actually starts at 1~~~~

haihhhhhhhh sad stuff all along
and i dont wish to type outtt
whatever it is! it finished at 5 am~~!!!
god i am like damn exhausted and i reached home at 7~
80 bucks might not seem a lot butttttt IT'S memorable

Surprised Party!

one of the shots taken today! a picture speaks a thousand words =)





HMM.... it was a week ago esther msged me suddenly asking me if i am free on the 18th? Luckily, today was very free, without any activities. so she said, she wanna goes out with me? No reson to reject, and of course i wish too =) so, i was waiting for this day to arrive! While shopping with mel ks and junyi in Midvalley, this damn DKNY counter is promoting the BE DELICIOUS sets there. Temptations brought me near it and i knew i couldnt stop thinking of it when i am obsessed with it! I have been yearning for it since quite a long time ago. But, due to its price, i often tell myself to think twice before spending it! I might have others usage! =)

Yesterday night, jiajiun was chatting with me. I was asking if he has any plans lately. He said he slept for fifteen hours which scared me off. XD and he said due to the rain,his outings were all put off. AWWW.. then i asked how about tomorrow? he said dont tell u first, And this freak was a liar!!!! He asked where i am going tomorrow? I said i am going out with esther. And i really thought i am going out with her ONLY! well, until this morning everything still seems so normal. meiyen was online but she was replying as slow as a tortoise. BUT i dont guess anything...

So, this little esther came my house around 11 and we went to tasik selatan straight. Mum was nagging about my undang test =S i was like errr..errr alright alright. when we reached there, we went to lot 10 straight. But both of us are a little noob, but we still found it at last. Then, esther phone started ringing. She was like acting very very weird, dun want me to know what is happening.

Fine, suddenly i saw this little chua huay yau! I am VERY SURE it's him. Esther was saying err i dont think so. So i said, well we walk near him to see. ;P then he was smart enough and asked why i am here? Oh well. REAL enough for me not to suspect anything else, maybe esther was hinting behind without my notice. Then we went up to ISETAN since i wanna get a birthday present for my best friend! Then i saw a little brush with screen wiper. Esther said we go at around 12.30 cause the buffet wont start so early

Oh well. Along the way, her phone kept ringing. I was like, err why this MEIWEI keep calling? Then she said she might need our help to get her some stuff! OHHHHHH.... I PAID and exited Isetan. Well, time to head to SHABU. Esther was saying, i am hungry! T.T i was like errr.. okay we go in quickly. AT the entrance, this receptionist came and asked if i am mr.kung's guest. I was like err .. NO! NO NO!!! I said just both of us. Then esther brought me inside and EVERYONE WAS LIKE SURPRISEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!
WOWWW.. i couldnt believe what my eyes are looking at! I was like OH MY GODDDDDD... what is this?!!!!

Then they were like starting to say. eh? why are u here?
i was like: stop all these jokes, ain't funny, i almost weeped
but i controlled. i remained silent for some time,
was too drastic for me to react, i started recalling everything
BUT.. how come there are no HINTS given? AT ALL!
well. these professionals event planner memang hebat!!!!!!
no wonder all are my classmates and among themselves, there were presidents of PBC, ED BOARD blabla..

oh my god~~~~ I WAS TOOOOO HAPPY
then khaishien gave me a beg named: metrojaya!
Then i knew it must be MY BE DELICOUS perfume!!! am i right?
ABSOLUTELY! i was like oh my goddddddddd.... u all know me well,
never fail to read my little heart.
arrrhhh. i am feeling guilty.
then our buffet started.
everyone treated me damn well. it feels like i am the LUCKIEST person in the world, no joke!
Seriously, i am! I started thinking, not everyone has this chance and since ur friends are sincere enough
u should be gladful=)

awww.. i was served well...XD
seriously, i love u guys!! u guys are so so so so sweet.
Greatest thanks to Khaishien and Esther, the executive planner of this event, if i am not mistaken
Esther, thanks for caring me so well all these while.
of course his boyfriend, desmond was understanding enough. Thanks desmond
Khaishien, My best best friend!
A great leader. NO doubt he is one of the perfect person whom i know!
With gratitude.=) motivates me everytime i need it! Without any demands.
Jiajiun, this little baby. LOL
kiddish guy. he is always someone who is very supportive also! HAHA!
the most memorable memory of him to me is he sent a message to cheer me up the day before add math
my freak-out-attitude always made me not to do well in exams
he is also being very humble all the while
though ks and jj are both equally intelligent
Soonyin, THANKS for being our monitor the whole year running all the errands. Love U!
and sorry for my rude attitude sometimes, though i promised a few times i would not raise my voice,
but I still did it>.< attending =")" too =")" silently =")" too =")" alright =")">.<
but we ended up reaching home safely!
hmm.. i promise u guys, i will throw out a farewell at my house!
no need to waste money!!!! let's drink some champaigne on that day ^^
oh yea.. before i forget, diana was supposed to join us today
but unfortunately she was sicked! hope she recovers soon!!!!!

well. i am tired. imagine what, it's 2.40 already now. and i just opened the perfume
once again, my heart is overwhelmed! i wont use it i guess.
my practice, i dont use my presents unless i desperately need it =P
i will bring it to russia and keep properly. when i need u guys to be around me, i will spray a few drops on myself.

i LOVE u all. thanks for everything today! i will never forget this day in my life. as i have promised u all, i wont change even when i am there. u all are still my best HIGH SCHOOL friends which cannot be simply replaced by anyone! i wish all of u all the best! u all will be always in my heart at all times. remember, do not hesitate to tell me or chat with me if u all face any problems. i might be miles apart, but my heart is always connected with u all at all times. i will stay the same even i might look different, once again! GREASTEST GAZILLION THANKS for everything today
love u all, MUACKASSSSSSSS

18.12.2009
with love, aunyee

sick!

i wonder why would i fall sick at this crucial state?
i have tons of upcoming tasks to be completed!
god bless me man! i gonna get well soon
yesterday i was pretty down.
probably because of this toad voice couldnt make me touch much at the briefing
i was just nodding my head and replying a yes yes..

had a blood check up on my HIV, HYPER A,B,C SYPHILIS and more
gonna get a chest x ray soon. to check on the TB
god! heal my sickness fast fast!!
i am missing all my friends now!

i wish the day of gatheting would arrive soon!
had a great day shopping with my best friend few days back
bought all my formal clothes and stuff
=)

i sold my MP3 wahhaa!
i finally have an income! will spend this on some of my besties' presents.

spm is about to end
well, i wouldnt want to think back about the past subjects,
i did not even dare to guarantee any A for any subjects!
especially add math
thankgodness add math isnt that important in my carrier

biology chemistry! u better have an A!
i am still waiting anxiously for the departure date
currently is still 28/12
the consultant said that i will be informed only 1 WEEK EARLIER.

i want to have count down 2010 and christmas here!
if i were given a chance now! i wish i can celebrate and enjoy here before i leave!
i hope i am blessed always!

13/12 undang class
14/12 outing with friends, dinner with mrs.sim at sunway
15/12 form5 dinner
16/12 do x ray and buy disecting set and lab coat
17/12 meet dr.ho
18/12 special outing with esther thoo ^^
20/12 editorial BBQ
21/12 PPS prom
22/12 6c GATHERING
23/12 leaving to penang
26/12 back from penang
27/12 farewell with friends
28/12 departure

this is my current schedule
of course i will never forget some of the spec

when a leave drops, some thinks because it's lacking of nutrients, but do we ever think the rough winds could have blown them down?

sometimes, i stopped by,
to look at my past,
but i realised everything was funny to be thought of,
recalling the times, it might be a sad and pathetic memories
hence, i shutted my eyes,
took a big grasp of air into my lungs again,
feeling the pace of my hearts,
i am back to the reality!

i realised that whenever some bad incidents happened
it seems to be the end of the world,
well instead of feeling sweat with it,
i would accept it with my generous arms,
i treid to change what i didnt want it to be,
even if it doesnt turn out well,
i am still glad i tried my best

i have faith in everyone i love,
i mean, i should, have it.
but still it'll never work if things go one way,
again. i closed my eyes, stopped the thoughts from flowing through my mind,
to keep my spirit down again,
back to my starting point,
continue what makes me feel better again
i might not have the chance to think of the consequenes,
since i choosed the path that i want,
i move on with my wish.

althought it will never turn out well,
but still i couldnt twist the clock back to twelve,
and choose the second path.
hence, i learnt a new lesson.
i appreciate what happens in life, always!

TRIALS VS REAL

thanks to the happenings that happened for this week,
today.. i had a great talk with pn lim, my english teacher,
i mean WE had a great talk,
since we always cant understand what our bio teacher is teaching,
we decided to run out from the class,
standing at the corridor,
while listening to the comments she gave on our exam essay!

this time, i realised, i choosed the wrong question,
i always write something on recount,
dont know why, those questions will eventually ignite my inner feelings,
like the last exam piece, my best friend
somehow i am clear with what i want, i know what does that mean,
because i have had a best friend in life,
no matter who i write, or how i write it,
the feelings will surely strike the reader's emotions

this time, discipline is the key to success? do u agree?
certainly i have discipline in me,
but i am not successful yet, so i might not have the stand to support my points well
i wrote this in chinese for last essay! damn it.
i can still remember what marks i got, and it was totally a disappointment,
but i still like english, there's no line to limit my style of writing.

pn lim, through her thoughts i learnt a lot!
she said i am good in argumentative kinds,
so i am gonna read up more and more bulletins on people opinions,
seeing things from differents perspectives,
at least , i am proud that i convinced her, by manipulating my points,
through bluffalogy!
feel embarrass to admit it, but still i am glad it happened before the real one comes!

i got back all my papers already, well not satisfying enough!
but thanks to all my buddies, we'll work hard for the time left.
let's turn it to be possible all the times,
i am in love in my class, LOL
we joined all the tables together, so it's easier to crap and discuss questions!

no doubt, i am under high pressure lately,
i realised i am not well prepared,
but still i am really thankful,
like what pn.lim says "make things happened worst before the real spm!"

i am gonna make sure by spm comes, i get to understand which kind of questions suit me the best!!

haha. randomly,
yesterday was a great day!
i went mamak after school with my classmates,
as usual, i like the atmosphere!
wahaha.. out class has lots of JUN lately!
jun yi, jia jiun and jian jun!

oh well! i have released my feelings! time to work hard. ciaos!

this will never be the way

i am starting to get SICK of everything
i should have listened to the advices, do something prompt enough to make me feel better =)

things will never work one way as i know,
duration and the time how long we have been friends,
will never be a reason for us to keep holding on the bonds

sometimes, i just couldn't take it when the cares are even worse than how an ordinary PASSER-BY
could have given!
i am not comparing, but it's something that i have mentioned endless times =(
i am writing this not because i am piss, i am sick of it! and i know for the time being,
it's really gonna be a time for me to look into everything, and i hope what i thought before was wrong!

appreciation is something that we need and MUST possess
no matter what we are given everyday!
i appreciate u BUT.... think carefully,
do u actually care for ur friend when he needs?

tolerance is also another important part!
i have tried, but did u?
and if u mean it, sorry could have made u be more oblivious of the mistakes,
not repeating the same thing OVER and Over AGAIN
it's already been years! but look at it, everytime when i talk to u!
see how much u really thought through my thoughts!
pause at that moment when i tell u something next time, and observe ur reactions! and think
if this is what u get from someone, will u be happy?

i hope i can keep this best friend after my high school!
but if things remain this way, i dont think i can tolerate anymore...
if u ever know who u are, kindly just talk over to me if u really wanna know what i am thinking!
there's a reason why i am posting here! not because i wanna open a press conference and tell everyone in the world that how much i dislike,
because i know i am true enough when i am facing this computer,
and u will surely read what i typed!

but if u dont, well fine. we will never work out things anymore!


*it drives me a lot a lot of confidence to type this post,
as everyone knows i am soft-hearted.
but this time, head-ache has brought me some confident!

i hope things will get better!